You know when you’re like, “this job is nuts, if I am here for one more minute I will cry, I want to go home and have a bubble bath and a glass of wine, and never work so I will marry for money and never have sex because that might make a child and after this nanny job I dont want children. I dont even think I want men to look at me ever again. And I’m not hanging out with pregnant women. In case its contagious.”

Or it could just be me, since I battle the life-long disease of Worst Jobs EVER Syndrome. Symptoms include: retail, waitressing, nannying, lack of benefits or retirement, always working weekends and nights, swollen feet from standing on them all day, no sympathy from people who have never worked in any kind of service industry, etc. While general whining and a good Pinot have been known to alleviate pain, there is no known cure.

I’ve had a lot of jobs and lots of days and nights where I say things like that to myself. I swear that I’ll get out of that job and never do something like that again. I’ll do something without people, without emotion, totally mindless, where I sit at a desk and mind my own business. But then every once in a while something totally magical happens that reminds you why people are amazing and and that I am so blessed and that this life is so, so good.

Some of you might know that I have been nannying for a family that has two boys, one is 12 and one is 9 with some special needs and difficulties. Its been one of the most challenging experiences ever, but I’ve learned a lot about the needs of kids with special needs, their siblings and families. I’ve worked with special needs kids before at Camp Ronald McDonald, but this has been different. I’m really learning a lot about…patience…oh…lots and lots of patience. And how to cover everything with love. Because even at his worst, Blake doesn’t mean it, isn’t really in control of himself, and won’t remember it ten minutes later. Plus…I’m just the nanny – at the end of the night, I get to leave!

Dealing with Blake can be difficult. Its like dealing with the most ornery, opinionated, moody on the verge of bipolar toddler, in a nine year old boys body. Because of his needs he can’t do anything alone except Wii and occasionally a movie, but he’s constantly asking me questions about it or climbing in my lap and I have to stay completely engaged with him from the moment I walk in the door, so its exhausting to say the least. And then there are the tantrums about…just about anything! He hits and kicks and throws things at me. But he can be a real sweetheart and cuddle with me all night. And I try to ignore the fact that his hands have been in his pants the whole day.

Anyway tonight I’m here at the house, he’s in bed because I spent most of the afternoon wearing him out by filling water balloons (132 at last count) and making him run around the yard to dodge them (a little frustration release….hehehee) and challenging him to jumping contests. As a special treat I took him to The Dog cafe out here in Alamo, and on the way I was playing some loud music, and “Edge of Seventeen” came on. All of a sudden, this kid is rocking back and forth in the front seat of my car so hard I thought he was having a seizure. And then he starts SINGING.

“Just like the white winged DOOOOOVE!!!!” “tomorrow!” “Ooo oooo OOOO” just jamming Stevie Nicks. I have no idea how he learned the song, but it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. It brought tears to my eyes. We played that song over and over again as loud as my stereo could go. It would end and he would say “Again Rachel! OO OOO song!” He loves how I always tell him “you’re killing me, Smalls” and he was seriously killing me with how cute and funny he was being. I took some video that I will have to upload later to spread the innocent joy that is Blake. His face is tooo much. How incredible is that? Youngest, most random Stevie Nicks fan ever.

So we also had a funny conversation in the restaurant. Blake plays special baseball on Sundays, and he was asking me to go:

Rachel: aw I’m sorry but I have church stuff all day tomorrow
Blake: oh my grandpa goes every Sunday. I dont know why. Church is stupid.
Rachel: We don’t say “stupid,” we say….?
Blake: Dumb (under his breath) stupid stupid stupid…
Rachel: Blake I can still hear you.
Blake: I was being quiet!
Rachel: I have secret nanny ears under my hair so I can hear anything!
Blake: What?! show me I wanna see!
Rachel: I’m driving
Blake: Give me your hair
Rachel: Let go of my hair!
Blake: I don’t see any ears!
Rachel: You’re loud you’re so close to them! Sit down. Now…do you know who Jesus is? He’s why we go to church.
Blake: Jesus is dead.
Rachel: Thats right. He died for you.
Blake: He died for all of us. And his dad, God. I think.
Rachel: thats right!
Blake: Yeah Jesus died. Was that before I was born? I don’t think I can’t remember it.

isnt that just awesome?
i love life i love life i love life