You’re familiar with the concept of the bucket list – the list of goals or dreams, serious or frivolous, you wish to accomplish before you “kick the bucket.” I myself have a “thirtyx30” list of things I’d like to get done by 30 years old, and have been steadily working my way towards the end. Turning 30 being the end of my life.
I went to coffee with a dear friend (and amazing supporter of dreams and I fully believe everyone should have a Jess Seghers in their lives!) who revealed she had an “Anti-Bucket List.”
“a whuuut?” I said. “A list of things I will never do,” she replied.
- I will never go on a cruise. Don’t put me on a boat with 2,000 strangers and call it a “vacation.”
- I will never go to North Korea.
- I will never bungee jump.
Brilliant. A list of things that I just never have to do. The problem is, people don’t judge you for your benign and dreamy bucket lists (mine include things like traveling, wine tasting, making lasagna from scratch, blah blah boring), but when I started forming my Anti-Bucket List, I realized some of these might require a little explanation. Otherwise you will all hate me.
So here we go.
My Anti-Bucket List
I will never own a bird or date someone who owns birds. I think they are Satan’s messengers. I hate birds.
- I will never root for the Dodgers, Yankees, Stanford, or USC. In a perfect world, the Dodgers would play the Yankees in the World Series and the Giants would win.
- I will never go skydiving . My readers know that flying is scary enough for me. Why anyone would pay to practice dying is beyond me.
- I will never go on a submarine. I have a lot of questions about how they work, and will read a book about it, but you can’t make me go on one!
I will never run a marathon. I just don’t think my body was built to do it – I’m built for comfort, not for speed. I’m also not sure why our culture suddenly thinks that people are heroes if they run a marathon. That if those with “26.2” stickers on the backs of cars are somehow better than the rest of you, are more charitable, and know the true meaning of life. I can be great at life from my couch. I can also raise money without running. The amount of time it would take me to compose a perfect playlist for the marathon makes this not even worth the trouble.
- I will never donate blood. I have a raging fear of needles that I just can’t get over. For the sake of the people working those donation stations, I just can’t do it. This doesn’t make me a bad person. I just can’t and won’t do it.
- I will never run for political office. For starters, I had way too much fun in college to ever make it past preliminaries. I don’t need anyone combing through facebook to prove that to my constituents. Secondly, despite being heavily involved in student governments during my academic career, and marching in DC, Sacramento, LA, Berkeley, etc. for various causes, I’m starting to think government is more and more useless. I know. It’s terrible to think that. But power changes people, dreams die, and it’s really hard to find the good guys in our sprawling mess of politics.
I will never live in a land-locked state. Living in California has probably spoiled me for life, but I just can’t imagine living out of driving distance of the ocean. I need at least a lake. Lake. Big Lake.
- I will never pay money to see a scary movie. As I get older, I’ve gotten pickier about what I will read and watch. I just don’t see the sense in participating in something designed to give me nightmares, when I’m naturally a person who can’t sleep if she thinks she’s seen a spider somewhere near.
- I will never write a YA fiction involving vampires and/or zombies. I would do almost anything to get a book deal, buuuut I’m drawing the line here. :)
Let the record state – this list doesn’t mean I think bird owners who run marathons, donate blood, work in government, and sky-dive their way to scary movies in Kansas theaters are bad people. They’re just not me. And I think that’s okay. I feel freedom in declaring things I don’t want to do, will not be pressured into doing, and I like the limits I have publicly set.
So, what about you? What are things you will just never do?
- Bucket List. (irsantibucketlist.wordpress.com)
- The all important ‘Bucket List’ (mandyeverett.wordpress.com)
- Have You Written Your Bucket List? (pilgrimontherun.com)
- Recommended bucket list 2013 (epicatravel.com)
- Six Clips that Will Inspire You to Create a Bucket List (projectlighttolife.wordpress.com)
- My Thoughts on Bucket Lists (rollunderthestars.wordpress.com)
- My August Bucket List (newmediasu13.wordpress.com)
- “Have You Written Your Bucket List?” Part 2: Why You Should (pilgrimontherun.com)
- Kicking The Bucket List! (everydaygyaan.com)
- A 4 year old boy’s bucket list (trueps.wordpress.com)
August 14, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Hi-lar-i-ous!!! Love the part about birds. Hate birds in cages. I like birds out in the open, far away from me…I’ll even chat to them but why anyone would want one in their house is beyond me! And don’t even get me started about rodents as housepets. Gag!
August 17, 2013 at 9:49 am
So are you disavowing Brian Wilson, the new Giant killer on the Dodgers?
August 17, 2013 at 9:57 am
I’m not going to say it doesn’t hurt….
August 19, 2013 at 11:54 am
August 17, 2013 at 10:27 am
Food for thought. It’s always about the food.
Sent from my iPhone
August 22, 2013 at 5:32 am
I will never make a bucket list or an anti-bucket list
oh bugger! see what you made me do…
August 29, 2013 at 9:46 pm
bahahaha GOT YOU!