Sunglasses Always Fit

Full disclosure – I had to look at my phone to know if today was Wednesday or not. Despite recent happenings in the world of possible employment, I’m still living in that world where I didn’t put on a bra until 4:30pm today, and only to get ready for Crossfit. I didn’t even talk out loud to anyone until 6pm.

Wait – did I brush my teeth today?

Hmm. I….think….so?? I definitely hope so.

• Singing – The Head and the Heart. Very excited to see them next month. Also, when “Whitewalls” by Macklemore comes on my shuffle (which I have played 32 times since downloading it four days ago) I go CRAZY. I don’t know anything about cars – I called my Corolla an Accord for the first four years – but something about this song makes me dance like nobody’s watching. Gosh, I hope they aren’t, too/either (not sure which one is supposed to go there. Debbie?! :) ). Also “Renegade” by Styx and “Jolene” by Dolly Parton, which I have decided shall be my swan song. (I’m not sure what that really means, but I like the song a lot.)
• Reading – Call of the Midwife 3. If you have girl parts and aren’t reading this – WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. It is incredible, inspiring memoirs. Also trying to slug through A Feast for Crows, and just bought Stuff Christians Like. Amazeballs. Most perfect bathroom read, ever.
• Watching – The White Queen, for my “I was born in the wrong time period fix.” And that’s only because a sweet homie gave me her Comcast password. We don’t have TV here. Just got through a massive Harry Potter marathon though, after an LOTR marathon. Wondering what to marathon next…considering tackling James Bond or Batman or Superman, as I’ve never seen any of those.
• Drinking – Menage a Trois, because I miss my CA roomies Jill and R2!!! Also drinking a lot of Kombucha lately, and since Crossfit, cannot get enough water.
• Eating – EVERYTHING I SEE. So, you know. Situation: normal.

  

• Wishing – I was a little bit taller, which I was a baller…
• Thanking – Diana for Comcast password!! I really missed some tv. Two months is a long time.
• Anticipating – A visit from my seeeester!!! Jenna is coming for Thanksgiving. My first friend!
• tweeting – I reached my 5,000th tweet this week! That’s five thousand dumb things I’ve said recorded for all of time! including these memorable gems:

Tonight my roommate spoke to himself, for twenty minutes, in an Irish accent, about looking up “how to bake potatoes” on the internet. Help.
How has no one come up with drive thru grocery shopping yet?
Never learning how to skateboard is one of the biggest regrets in my life.
I think we can all agree it’s best not to notice too many details about whatever hotel room you are in. This can only lead to tears/vomit.
Snuggled in bed. First night of truly cold. Broke out the fuzzy blankets. Happy sighs and lights out. Overwhelming urge to pee. Why. Why.
I want to be a squirrel for a day so I know what it feels like to run up and down trees and scare the crap out of female drivers

• 

  Loving – Fall in North Carolina. I cannot get over it. Driving is distracting, because all the trees are a million different colors and you just want to take it all in. If nothing good happens to me the rest of the time I live in Durham, the leaves on the lake next to my house, Blue Ridge Parkway, and the sudden yellow leaf wind storm we found ourselves wrapped in outside our tent in Linville would have made it all worth it.

• Making – hopefully some merlot wine! My dear friend Gina, seeing my last desperate post about wanting wine-flavored fro-yo, sent me an epic recipe for merlot reduction ice cream! I just need to buy the maker, which I tried to do today but they were out of stock of the one I had the coupon for. I’m also making onesies for my friend Jill’s baby!!! I love stamping things.
• Crazy story – went on my evening walk to said lake, and finally discovered the source of the rancid smell – a super freaking dead deer. It had been hit so hard that it’s head had been severed and the bones of the skull were splintered about ten feet away from the rest of the body. I have a weird fascination with dead animals and cemeteries…anyway, I see this body and head combo, and I can’t help myself, and I stop to get a

  

  picture. As I am walking away, posting the pic to instagram, listening to AND I AM NOT KIDDING – “Eye of the Tiger” – I look up, and three deer are in the front yard, eating everything, but STARING AT ME. As if to say, “That was our brother, Frank. Have some freaking respect.” And then my “afternoon stroll” turned into “knees to chest knees to chest” and I sprinted the hell out of there. Deers be creepy.

• Wish hadn’t happened – Someone told me to look up the video for “What the Fox Say.” And I did.