So much funny happens on a daily basis that I want to write about. Unfortunately, like many of you, I’m sure, I spend a lot of time staring at a computer screen, slouched over a desk, slinging back lukewarm faculty coffee. So when I get home, my priorities are more along the lines of “shower the junior high stench off” and “glass of wine NOW” and “sweatpants or else” than anything else. But I need to record some of this so I remember the funny when I get worked up about the sour patches.
One of the awesome things about teaching is that it evokes a lot of nostalgia…sometimes the kids say things that make me think “oh my GOSH i totally thought that in junior high!” It’s usually things like “homework is so hard, miss weight! I have chores, too!!” or “is this going to be on the test?” or “do I have to write this down?” or “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and never have to go to school again!”
I might say “please raise your hand if you’re finished with the worksheet.” and instead I get “I’m ALmost done” “I’m like 2 and a half away from being done,” “Alex is breathing too loud and it’s distracting me!” or “wait I just saw that there was a backside to this paper!”
Or I mention something like, say, cardboard, and all of a sudden everyone has a story about how one time their cousin went to Mexico and saw a dog eating cardboard, or an opinion on how cardboard affects the environment, or something equally useless, and they all start talking, not even caring if anyone is listening. They just talk to talk. Every time I pause to take breath, they feel the need to keep a constant commentary up of whatever is going through their minds.
Or they raise their hand to answer a question that I haven’t even asked yet….or I call on them and its alllll surprise, like they had forgotten their hand was in the air…”oh…um…yeah i forgot?” or the classic “oh….nevermind.”
And they are basketcases of emotion and drama…So and so didn’t say hello to so and so in the hallways, so now we must cry….some girl is “in love” with some boy, but he said she had weird shoes, so we must cry…sometimes they are too happy and so we must cry…and some very real drama in people’s lives, of course.
Current best quote of the times…from a sweetly, mostly mute 8th grade boy:
“Miss Weight….homework causes cancer. And diabetes. And then you get fat from all the diabetes. So I can’t do it anymore. Sorry.”