my little darling.

“hmmm….Ke$ha’s bowl looks dirty….she looks unhappy….is she dead?” (tap on glass) “nopenope not dead. I bet she wants me to clean her bowl. poor fishie. I have so much work to do but…I better take care of this right. now. I better spend a good half hour cleaning her bowl. yep that’s what I’m gonna have to do!”

Thus went a conversation I had with myself this afternoon. I indeed spent forty minutes scouring the algae away from Ke$ha’s bowl while s/he circled furiously in a coffee mug. First it took five minutes to catch the thing in it’s net. “I’m trying to help you! Its going to be okay! Please stop swimming so fast! Ke$ha, Mommy loves you so much!” My fish is slightly high maintenance. Very dramatic. Wonder where s/he gets it? Hmm.

I have a lot o school to catch up on since I put the work on hold to study for my CSET. So now I’m faced with about three weeks worth of work to try and finish in two days. So, naturally, I am finding all KINDS of things that I need to do that absolutely can not be put off.

cleaning is sexy!

For example…There is no way I can read a couple hundred pages and write a three page paper with all those flecks of toothpaste spittle I see on my bathroom mirror! Ridiculous! I can barely see my reflection when I mindlessly wander in and start picking my face and plucking invisible eyebrow hairs! Must wash that now!

Oh, and how can I contribute to the class discussion boards when I have been meaning to organize the DVDs for literally minutes? That’s a priority. So is cleaning the fridge. And the toilets. And sweeping the kitchen to within an inch of it’s life.

Yes. My name is Rachel, and I am a procrastinator.

satisfying checks.

My main mode of procrastinating is cleaning. Sometimes eating. Sometimes napping. Or working out. Or blogging. (insert irony). But mostly cleaning. I like cleaning in real life, but when I need to actually be productive, suddenly I am a cleaning wizard and I attack chores I normally hate with zeal. Bathtubs, toilets, mopping, cleaning the fridge.

Today I made a list on the whiteboard to help keep me on track.

I set the timer on my phone for 45 minutes, and I make myself do school for that time. Then, when its done, I can do a chore! Yes, I reward myself with chores.

Somewhere, my mom is reading this, shaking her head and saying “where was this when she was growing up?”

Because as the minutes on my timer wind down, I’m rubbing my hands together and wondering what I get to clean next! I just can’t wait!

I experienced great success today. I accomplished many things on my list…just have one more module to do tomorrow for school. And as I write this, I am mentally checking off “blog,” as well. Then I can vaccuum and clean my room tomorrow and bask in my glory. And I can rake all my fallen leaves into a big pile and stomp stomp through them. And it will be GREAT.

Ellen Degeneres does a fantastic stand up about procrastination. Her entire repertoire of stand up is hilarious, but these is one of my favorite bits. Enjoy. Don’t do whatever you needed to do. Just watch.