Yay! Finally got an email for an interview. It’s some marketing company, with a bit of a vague website, but there are pictures of beautiful people who look happy and successful on it, so I am excited. It’s for a PR/Marketing/Comm Assistant type position, of which I know little and have no real experience. But I figure I taught Latin to junior highers, so I can do just about anything. I’m actually really interested in learning about advertising and social media stuff…technology is just changing everything about everything, and I want to learn more about how to effectively reach people. For when I take over the world.

I realize part of my struggle with this finding job process is that I’ve only been searching and applying for three weeks, but I haven’t worked in three months, since the school year ended and I packed up my classroom. My mind begs for mental stimulation and challenge beyond my daily fights with Candy Crush.

Even if this job doesn’t work out (oh please oh please I need money!), I’m excited to practice interviewing. I’ve been going over the basic questions – how do you handle conflict, what kind of team player/leader are you, what’s your work style, etc. I googled for “things not to say during an interview” and there are some pretty epic ones.

  • How many warnings do you get before you are fired?
  • Will I have to take a drug test?
  • Does this company monitor Internet usage?
  • What is the astrological sign of the company president?

Then there are the worst questions the interviewer could ever ask you:

  • “If I looked in your bedroom closet at home….what would I find?”
  • “How do you define ‘sexual harassment?'”
  • “Has anything unfortunate happened to you recently?”
  • “How much do you weigh?”
  • “What do you think about romance in the office?”

And, of course, the ubiquitous:

  • What’s your greatest strength?
  • What’s your greatest weakness?
  • What’s your weakest strength? Your strongest weakness?

I can’t even wing it and just try to charm them, because this is the South. They invented charm, they ooze charm, they reek of charm. And I’m the girl from California who surfed to school and is best friends with movie stars, obviously.

Anyway, very excited and there are other things in the not so distant future I am really looking forward to…details coming soon! Until then, a poem about my interview:

Twas the night before the interview, and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring, especially not a mouse. Because we have two cats, who I don’t really like, but no rodent problem. So that’s good.

Her interview dress was hung by the door with care,

But she’d probably change her mind seventeen times, and how should she wear her hair?

She mapquested the directions, praying she wouldn’t get lost.

And hoped against hope to impress the potential new boss.

She scoured the kitchen for chocolate, anything sweet. And there was nothing! Not cool. Fro yo after interview is a must.

And considered the color of the toes on her feet.

She googled ” best questions to ask during an interview”

And rehearsed them while trying to break in her new shoes.

Now she climbs in to bed, hoping that she will sleep,

Tries counting kittens and puppies and baby goats and sheeps.

But she knows it’s no use, she’s just too excited to rest.

She’ll just take the few winks she can, and hope for the best. Opens twitter. Starts Netflix marathon. Never sleeps ever again. Someone call me in the morning and make sure I wake up in time.