where I live...
where I live…

You guys. I had a really good day today. And tomorrow is gonna be good, too. And then the next day as well. I have some news.

We’ll start with today. I woke up super refreshed, even before my alarm went off. I was so proud, until I realized that it was due to Daylight Savings, and not some secret adult-like change that had spontaneously occurred overnight. I was *almost* on time to church. Church was sweet. There was this HUGE guy leading worship today, and he was so fun to watch, because it wasn’t just worship for this guy, it was a freaking workout. He jumped up and down and fist-pumped every song, and then in between, took out a hankie to wipe his sweat. Huge pit stains. I loved it.

My church is ginormous. I’m really enjoying being anonymous – in and out, smile when appropriate, but don’t have to engage if I don’t want to. Which is good, because I generally cry in every service, and have makeup all over my face. Do I learn and stop applying makeup? No. That would be wise, and wise I am not.

The pastor can be a little….much. I roll my eyes when he calls the congregation “beloved,” because I am preeeetty cynical about Christianese stuff. (Although he did apologize for using “big church-y words sometimes,” which was cool.) But today he said this:

Think about getting in your car to drive somewhere. You sit down in that driver’s seat, getting ready to go. And there is a big ol’ windshield in front of you, but just a tiny, tiny rearview mirror. That’s life. You gotta look all ahead at all the good stuff coming up, and pay attention, but just a tiny part of you should focus, just every once in a while, on what is behind you, what’s in your past.

That hit me. And I cry when people start spontaneously shouting “Amen!” and “Preach it!” and clapping all the time. It’s just exciting. And I can sing at the top of my lungs and cry if I need to and no one notices.

I went to Whole Foods for lunch, and I was at that kind of hungry that is borderline delirious, and I stepped into the salad bar, but there were too many options, and I wanted to cry again. But then – did you know this? – THEY HAVE A BREAKFAST BAR. WITH LIKE FIVE KINDS OF POTATOED THINGS.

My plate was: tater tots, mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, pulled pork, bacon.

Snoopy's adorable feet.
but like, on the front lawn.

Yeah…Paleo is going really well.

Then I was driving home. There is this house, you probably have one by you, that decorates its front lawn for every holiday with huge inflatable things. Everyone slows down to look at it. Now, Halloween just happened, so I thought it would still be all tricked-or-treated out, BUT, God is good, and I got to see the owners changing it to Thanksgiving. I had always wondered what kind of people live there. I could not have asked for anything better – tall man, late sixties, wearing an AMERICAN FLAG BANDANA to go with his AMERICAN FLAG SHIRT, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, BEER CAN in one hand, adjusting an inflated Snoopy with a pilgrim hat on with the other hand.

You can’t make this stuff up. North Carolina is the best state ever.


Actually, it really is. I have never seen autumn like I have here. I know I keep saying that and my instagram feed is mostly yellowing trees (my spirit animal!) but it really is like a magical, magical place to be in the fall. And I want to share it with someone, which brings me to my next happy feels! I have my first visitor coming!

My friend Dana is flying in for a few days for some good old fashioned girl times. We actually havent seen each other since we backpacked CenAm together, so this will be a wild reunion! I’m very excited and researching activities and crafts we can do.

reunited soon!!!
reunited soon!!! this was 2008.

ALSO. I start school tomorrow. :)

So. It’s bartending school. So I can bartend at my restaurant job. In some ways, this feels like two steps back. I have two BAs and was a teacher and need health insurance…but…

At the same time, I will make more money than teaching. (I get paid $7 an hour for subbing. Which is less than minimum wage in California.) I will get to meet people. I will have a legitimate reason to stay up late, and will have stories to tell. I like serving people, I like smiling, and I like things that are fast-paced. I love that when you finish a shift, you go home and work is over – you never have to bring it with you. Each day is different, you’re part of a team, and being on my feet all day and night will burn mad calories off this depression donut that has settled around my middle.

you'd tip her, right?
you’d tip her, right?

And bartending my way around the world has become my new life plan. I think I’ll be really good at it.

In case you’re wondering, based on my last post, why, yes, I am procrastinating my NaNoWriMo. I’m about 4,500 words in to what is sure to be the world’s worst novel. Pretty sure I ought to quit while I’m behind. But. I need something to do/pretend to do when I need to procrastinate from cleaning. :)

Until next time,