discovered i stick out my tongue when i type with only my left hand. looks like this.
how come no one has married that face yet?

Its week two of bartednong school< and week five of crossgit class, so i guwss my body is mad> My right arm, which I only use for….everytthing has decided to dislcate itself> luckily, a hunky sports doctor at cross fit pushed it back in for me< but the wholr arm tingles and he’s making me ice it and oh yeah ist like 21 degrees outside< so icing is un.

Ha. Alright. I typed that with my left hand only, because I’m not supposed to use my right arm. But I’ll just make myself type super fast and pump this blog out and go back to marathoning the Missed Connections section of Craigslist.

ryann. fail.
ryann. fail.

The marathon is inspired by my bestie, Ry, who just shared an elevator with the inventor of Craiglist, but only talked about the weather. 


I’m like, I would have had a THOUSAND stories about weirdo roommates I’ve met on craigslist, or people scamming me when they come to buy my furniture, or the time my coworkers posted a fake “Missed Connection” about me, because I was so obsessed with it, and I thought it was real. And you talked about weather? FOCUS, RYANN!

anyway. here are the details of the week.

  • singing – went on a massive amos lee downloading spree. so. good. is there an app though that I can buy that won’t let me buy more songs until i have a job? or maybe i could have like, self-control.
  • reading – A Dance with Dragons, Call the Midwife book 3, and the book of Acts in my quest to reread the New Testament before the end of the year.

    pug me, pug me, saaaay that you pug me.
  • watching – started Battlestar Galactica, because all my nerdy friends from the internets love it. also, lots of GIFs of pugs.
  • tweeting:

I can’t hold on to a pack of gum to save my life. I bought the thing yesterday, where is it today? No idea. The struggle.

Does putting on spanx count as a workout? Because I’m now out of breath, heart pounding, and self-loathing. Just like post workout.

@Healthfooods: Each American eats an average of 51 pounds of chocolate per year” IM ABOVE AVERAGE. Winning.

Nerd confessions – I don’t want to move out until I’ve read all of my roommates’ books…

I want LASIK so I can know if the black thing in the shower is worth screaming over or not.

It’s kind of embarrassing getting caught picking my face/plucking my eyebrows in the parking lot, but the lighting out here is tremendous.

  • wishing – I could feel my right hand. also, for one of these sweet dealios pictured below! My friend Maria sent me this via Pinterest, of a thing I think I had tweeted or status-updated or just dreamt about wanting – a wine glass holder for the bathtub. It EXISTS! Buy stock, people.

    wine cup holder thing.
  • anticipating – the return of Downtown Abbey. Jenna’s visit in TEN DAYS! Or maybe nine. Math is hard.
  • loving – that I got to be in my first snow. i came out of school and there were little flakes of fun swirling all around us under the streetlight, while my friends smoked cigarettes and i coughed like a good Californian. then i sat in my car and squealed watching the tiny stars fall against my windshield.
  • thanking – my friend Wendy, who a few weeks ago asked if she could send me a package. What she sent was like love in a box. check out my reaction video here:
  • making – well, my venture into knitting was obviously a heroineic failure. i really appreciate
    its so beautiful.
    its so beautiful.

    everyone’s sympathy, by the way. but i still need a productive hobby that will keep my hands too busy to put food in my mouth. so now i am considering getting into cross-stitching. and then i’m making you all two of these.

  • crazy/cool story – i don’t have a stand out story from recently. but i want to say something, which is “thank you, black people of durham, north carolina.” maybe that sounds weird. probably. definitely it sounds weird. but here is the thing – almost every single funny or sweet or nice moment i have had with a stranger since i moved here has been with a black person. At the grocery store, Miss Karen knows me by name and calls me “sugar” and “baby” and asks how my momma is dealing with me being so far from home. (the fact that I’m known at the grocery store…explains my waistline.) I have had more doors held open for me, more compliments on what I’m wearing, my smile, how I look. At Starbucks, an old black man talked my ear off for two hours, while I had headphones in, and kept complimenting me. “Mmmm I love a woman who looks like you, like she loves to live.” “Mmmmm men love that in a woman, she just says what’s on her mind.” When I got my hair cut, Miss Angie teased me the whole time, saying “I don’t know what you white girls are doing, pouring bleach in your hair! This ombre business?! You give me a heart attack! Don’t come back like this again, you hear?!” And she massaged my scalp and asked “doesn’t that feel good, child? My daughter old as you. I got grandkids, can you believe it? I know you like my nails all up in your hair.” She was ripping it out as she combed through the gnarls, the whole time explaining “I jus don’t know white hair! I jus don’t know!” as I bit back tears, but I was too interested to leave the chair. Best $14 haircut ever.
  • just go.
    just go.

    new life plan – depending on how well this new serving and hopefully bartending gig goes, i might just try and work my face off for the next eight months, and then try to travel permanently. maybe do some wwoofing in Australia, visit my friends there, then try bartending there for a while, before heading through Asia to teach English. At any rate…I think there is a lot I still want to see in the world, and I look forward to pursuing it.

Join me?