Sunglasses Always Fit

It’s the MOST wonderful TIME of the YEAR. School’s almost out! Actually this part of the year is crazy for teachers because kids checked out in April, and now you’re just herding cats and making sure your warm body count stays the same between 7:30-3:30pm every day. Curriculum/standardized testing/events/report cards kind of kill the buzz, but “NINE MORE DAYS UNTIL IM IN FOURTH GRADE MISS!” I will be in the Yay Area for five ish weeks! I can’t wait! See previous post for all the plans I have to eat back the 20 pounds I’ve lost.

are past the wedding stuff and moving on to making tiny people. I had my first baby shower experience in Brazil for a dear friend. She’s Australian, we taught together at an American school in Brazil, and she and her husband are leaving for Hong Kong. The reality of seeing each other again is smaller than I like to admit. Thank God for Skype. I am currently in a “super okay with being single and no prospects on the horizon, ovaries have not recently exploded over anything baby-like” season, which is good, so I am able to be completely present and happy in my singleness, celebrate all married and pro-creating friends, and drink wine while shamelessly googling “the most important baby goats in sweaters of 2015.”

My roomskie, in a move I’m surprised I hadn’t thought of myself, is pursuing a side career in face painting. In between wanting to start my own tshirt company, become a wedding deejay, and write children’s pirate joke books for adults, I somehow missed the goldmine that is a facepainting business. We had a four day weekend, which meant that last Wednesday turned into an impromptu face-painting practice, chicken nugget grilling, 90s music video singalong dance party that lasted until the wee hours. Sorry, neighbors!

Leana and I are going to see Backstreet Boys tomorrow night (eeee!!!!) so we were super inspired. Think Brandy, TLC, N*Sync, Color Me Badd. It was epic.

man with ONE LEG because of a SHARK was our cranky boat driver, in the dark, at like no nautical miles per hour. He didn’t know where we were going, and turns out, neither did we. So five hours after I thought we’d be there, we were drifting in pitch black, “knocking” on house boats and asking for directions to an obscure house designed to be off the beaten path. The four year old who was with us managed to untie the rope of the dinghy and set it adrift, there was a six-song playlist containing Erasure, Cher, and that “guuuurl i wanna make you sweat” song, which are now all

permanently ruined for me. We finally arrived to our beautiful bungalows, after being rescued by an oyster fisherman, and then we had to physically hoist ourselves onto a 6 feet onto the dock because the water was super low. But then I spent four blissful days with friends, sun, snuggly kids (one who gave me a nasty cold, but I digress), and no cell phone/internet/kindle/etc. It was super nice to check out, sleep in, and eat way too much.

knees. What would have me scared to fall in? Oh, I don’t know. SWIMMING SPIDERS THE SIZE OF YOUR FACE. We were getting back into the one-leg-man boat to head back to the mainland, and I spotted this monster of a thing. I’m sorry, but if tarantulas can really swim, I am giving up on Earth life and applying for that life on Mars thing. The whole experiment will be filmed, and you know I love a captive audience, so at least I’d

have that going for me. And NO SPIDERS.