I want to answer the big questions in life with this blog.
I want to answer the big questions in life with this blog.

Many of you dear readers are friends, family, high school classmates, college roommates, etc., who I have coerced into reading by writing shameless posts about the ongoing hot mess that is my life. I made you laugh one time, or wrote something that rang true, or invited you enough times on facebook that you finally gave in (I thank you). But the majority of my readership comes from random Google searches. I’ve written to this issue before, but I think it bears another look.

Blog Rule #1, in my fictional book about blogging, is to “Know Thy Audience.” Know what they want to read, and give it to them.

According to the search engine information I’m given via my stats page on this blog, *this* is what the people want to hear about:

  • “Brian Wilson Baseball” (that’s a given)
  • “comical bocce ball scenes”
  • “showing bad things to a child” <– tee hee…like my “mean teacher face?”
  • How Girls Work” I think they cover a lot of this in those Family Life classes in junior high, but I’m happy to help with more info.
  • “allergic reactions on the face”
  • “Women peeing in wetsuits” Ah, yes. My infamous wetsuit peeing episode.
  • “Tierra’s eyebrow” (my “Bachelor” blogging pays off! This search directed over 400 people to my blog in the last four weeks.)
  • “Joe Lando” mmmm I miss “Dr. Quinn” repeats, too.
  • “scary fish from Finding Nemo”
  • “the notebook ruined my life” I know exactly what you mean.
  • “female moonshiners”
  • “Spanx before and after pictures”
  • “overtrusting farts”
  • “rainbow chip icing” (YES! This is not the same as Funfetti. Get it right.)
  • “hot british actors” See Exhibit A here.
  • “tuxedo onesies for adults”
  • “college hotties” <– I’m flattered!
  • “love letters in candy hearts for boyfriends” <– again, Brian Wilson, I thank thee.
  • “got my sweatpants on and I’m feeling hella cool tonight”
  • “terrible makeup pics” <– Offended.
  • “Why is Simba hot?” <–among other Disney hotties.
  • “Channing Tatum is cross-eyed” yeah, but don’t let that distract you.

So this is what the people want from my blog. Not my somewhat witty commentary on things that interest only a select few (me, maybe my mom, my friend Jess….yeah).

Okay. Well I will give the people what they want!