Sunglasses Always Fit

Four women. Four hometowns. Four “meet the parents.” Very exciting!!! Sort of. Probably more so because I was eating ice cream at the same time.

AshLee – I think she might be looking to make a career in romance novel writing. She just spits poetry jams about Sean being “the one” and “falling in love” and “never thought I would feel this way” and blah blah blah. It’s all very fairy tale, which is great, until she says things about how much she loves Sean because he talks just like her dad and reminds her all day long about her dad. It crossed into creepy. I wish I could like her, but I can’t. Something is very flat and wanting in her elocution and personality…and using the polar bear plunge as a relationship metaphor was a reach.

Katherine – She’s grown on me. Her date was the most like something I would actually do – photo booth, making wishes, walking through farmer’s markets, etc. She’s outgoing, goofy, unself-conscious. And it’s also just refreshing to see a top four contender who isn’t taking the Bachelor to her little farm or military outpost. Ie an ethnic girl who lets Sean into her Filipino culture.

Des – loved the little hike date! I’m an outdoorsy girl myself. And she was wearing neon green, so…win. And she PUNKED HIM!!!! Ahhhh that was awesome. I didn’t see that coming at all! Clever. I now can like her. I also liked that her parents were kinda homely and super sweet. But her brother was aggressive and wanted to “holla at ya” to Sean. Yikes. But I did appreciate him coming to Sean and asking the hard questions that everyone is really thinking as they watch these episodes. I know I would be challenging any guy who came home with my sister after 6 weeks and wanting our blessing on their proposal. But Sean held his ground under pressure and that was good to see. And I think he’s being honest about how rough it would be to enter the family on the grounds of that tension.

Lindsey?! I can’t remember her name! The other girl. She doesn’t have a hometown, really, as a military brat. But I liked their cute date, walking around having beer and cupcakes (hello, my world!), and I even enjoyed her little “army training” with Sean, sneaking in spankings and push-up contests. More of that. Her family was cute, and I think I could see her with Sean. Who ever thought the girl who came out of the limo in a wedding dress would make it this far?!

Cocktail Party – Sean doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life…classic. Des pulls him aside for a last minute plea. Will it pay off?! Katherine and Lindsey, the youngest on the show, go for the sexy look. I wish the ladies would keep it a leetle more classy!!! He had some drama with both of their families, so his hesitation is understandable….goes with Katherine. She’s a lot more fun.

Sean Tells All – Love a little bro time with Chris Harrison. That man belongs in my living room. All I really wanted was a montage of SixPackSean with all the six pack has to offer. Plus a big dish on Tierra and her eyebrow of evil.

I did appreciate the tribute to sweet one-armed Sarah. I personally found her personality a little flat but she was smart and pretty and obviously a strong, independent woman worthy and deserving of great love and I hope she finds it soon.

And the slow jam remix of Sean showering at the end?! Thank you, producers, for finally acquiescing to what a nation of women has wanted! If this was 15 years ago, I’d be buying up Tiger Beats with Sean’s poster and hanging them above my bed. He’s yummy.

Sean has carried himself well all season and should be proud. And most of the girls (minus Tierra, 50 Shades Obsessee, and Selma, to a certain extent) were mostly classy.

I really hope someone on the internet makes a Tierra mash-up like Courtney Robertson’s… I get that song stuck in my head all the time and watch it on the regular. AND I can’t wait until After the Final Rose – when the girls will probably eat Tierra alive.

YES.