Sunglasses Always Fit

We bought a cord of firewood – the load of a pickup truck. Roommate said last time it took him three years to get through the pile. He laughed when I said that I could get through it by the end of winter.

DO YOU NOT KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME, YOU FOOL?!

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

I will burn down that entire wood pile by the end of February or so help me, God… in other news…

I have become completely obsessed with QuizUp. I have broken up with Candy Crush, and am devoted to screaming “HAHA BEATRICE FROM THE UK! I KNOW MORE ABOUT GEOGRAPHY THAN YOU!” and other rubbish at my phone until about 2 or 3 am every night. I like playing the word ones and history ones….okay okay and Harry Potter and Game of Thrones.

Also, I am being groomed for the cocktail room at work! Woo woo! This is where the money is at, folks! Pretty exciting.

A squirrel ran so close to me on my walk yesterday I was paralyzed in fear and almost cried. If squirrels ever realize the power they held over me…I could easily be defeated by one or more squirrels.

Reading – Read the Divergent series in three days. Three books, three days. It’s really cool to see a strong female lead in a book, and it’s a total mind game…but the ending…I’ve said too much! Read and judge for yourselves.

Writing – attempting the first draft of my totally unnecessary memoir, Sunglasses Always Fit. I really want to complete my thirtyx30 list…and one thing I put on there four years ago when I wrote the list and still believed in myself, was “publish a book.” I never thought I would, so…this is a good time to challenge myself.

Tweets of the WeeK:

Another day, another game of “what did I come into this room for again?”

What would happen if I sprayed hairspray at my fireplace fire? Because the urge is almost overwhelming.

I think the last think most people see before they die is the ceiling. How weird and sad. I will never look at ceilings the same again.

I really want some string cheese. So fun.

Have you ever hung out with a little kid that just learned to say “whoooaaa” bc it’s so adorable you might vomit.

K so I was in the grocery store, and this baby girl who was cross-eyed and had adorable blonde ringlets had just learned to say “whooooa!” As mom took her around the store in the grocery cart, she kept pointing at things and saying “whooooa!” every time. So I walked over (because I have this gene from my mom where I feel entitled to address all children within a ten mile radius as if they were a member of my family) and I said “hey, pretty girl! what did you find today?!” and she pointed her chubby grimy little paw at me, tilted her head back and said “whoooaaaa!!!!” and I fell into a fit of giggles that lasted so long I bought the wrong coffee creamer.

Thanking – Today two old women came into my section…and I was like, “oh no, here we go….hot water with lemon and one plate to split, but we will sit here for the next two hours.” But I went over and started talking to them. They were friendly and asked questions, and all of a sudden I’m using Nana’s walker as a seat and telling my life story, they’re inviting me to a Christmas church service and worried about what I will eat all alone on Christmas Day, and patting my hand like they’ve known me all my life. They ordered plate after plate and left a nice tip, and one almost hugged me on the way out, but I think she got embarrassed at the last minute. I would have welcomed it. It was nice to have some grandmas for a few hours. Then I came home and had two letters from two of my real Grandmas! Gma Jackie wrote two paragraphs about a dog she almost met in an airport, one paragraph about having to switch pens, and another with advice on how to make my roommate’s cat like me. It was pretty great.

Starting to – volunteer! I signed up to volunteer at the Ronald McDonald house in Durham. I used to be a camp counselor for them back in LA, at a camp for kids with cancer and their siblings. It was exciting and exhausting and emotionally taxing and I loved it. I think this will be really good for me.

Might buy – a fish! I want something to love when I get home. They don’t cuddle or let me squish my ever-cold toes under their calves, but…I could give it a name. There’s some stupid part of me that’s jealous when my roommate comes home and has a one-sided conversation with his cat… “hi, handsome!! who’s a good boy? did you miss daddy?? are you hungry???” and I quietly vomit my envy in my room.

Praying – for good weather for a great solo hike tomorrow. I have 48 whole hours off work, and I’m thinking about driving into this cool place called “Hanging Rock” to tackle with my day off. We shall see! :)

Oh, and world peace.