Just talked to my bestie Ry in New York…she’s getting excited for her hurricane to arrive. “I LOVE natural disasters coming towards me!” That is a direct quote. I helped walk her through our makeshift preparedness plan..I suggested she buy a kayak, and locate galoshes, a lifevest, and a headlamp. At the very least, she needed arm floaties.

super comforting scene

Then we created an entertainment plan. She’s got movies (I’m recommending NOT “Twister,” “Master and Commander,” “Cast Away,” or anything else involving weather), shows DVRed, candles and matches, and is considering reading a book when the power goes out. If I were facing a hurricane weekend, I would most def stock up on the essentials of my food pyramid….we’re talking oreos, green salsa, hummus, frozen pizzas, and lotsa red wine. And I’d be good for months as long as I had books and a deck of cards. People are legitimately being evacuated and Ry is now housing a “hurricane orphan” in her house, which makes her a hero. And they’re hunkered down on the fourth floor of an apartment building, so I’m pretty sure she’s adequately above sea level.

I did have to talk her through how you pour water down your toilet to make it flush if your water gets cut off. She’s prepared. My little city munchkin.

Is anyone else starting to think we might be headed towards the end of the world? Random east coast earthquakes, one grumbling through the east bay a few nights ago…hurricanes in New York forcing their own carmeggedon? Actually, it kinda just sounds like NY is copying CA. Earthquakes, shutting down freeways….yeah, we see you, Bloomberg. Stop creeping on our swag.

Tomorrow is my first day of grad school. Holy horseshoe, Batman! Omg what am I going to wear? I need to pack a lunch! Who will I sit next to??

This is my third year teaching junior high, and I’ve decided to also start getting my teaching credential through a Saturday school/online program. Doesn’t that sound like so much fun? “Saturday school” makes it sound like I got caught chewing gum or passing notes. Teaching is like a fifty hour work week, and now an extra 15-30 hours a week doing busy work? Yay! But at the end of 16-20 months, I’ll be able to teach in public schools, teach internationally, make more money, stop living off cans of tuna and crusts of bagels. Bounce out of the Bay Area Bubble.

What is most likely is that I will finish all this work and immediately find and marry the man of my dreams, settle down in Clayton, make babies, and never work again. Because that’s how my life tends to go. And actually, I’d be okay with that. Last night, in a dark moment of despair, I did some quick calculations and realized that I have exactly two girl friends my own age within a twenty mile radius who do not have boyfriends, husbands, or children. Which led to another glass of wine, eating of stale Whoppers, and another episode of Xfiles.

swim, baby, swim!

My life is not where I once thought it would be. Sigh. But its okay. Not many people can go to happy hour every day if they want to, or have time to upload photos of their toenail falling off, or feel the thrill I feel at seeing my pet fish Ke$ha swim through his castle. I imagine the pride I feel is something akin to the joys of motherhood.

And I don’t have to change diapers. Bonus!