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Sunglasses Always Fit

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How To Do Christmas Real Bad This Year


1. Be too embarrassed to come home and see family. Well, embarrassed is part of it - I've gained weight, couldn't get a real job, have no friends, and broke up with the man I thought I was going to... Continue Reading →

Aloneness. It’s okayish!


iTunes search: "alone." Twenty-one songs. My favorites - "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany, "You are not Alone" by Michael Jackson, and the anthem "Alone" by Heart. Also "Jingle Bell Rock," because it's from the Home Alone soundtrack. If... Continue Reading →

7 Steps to Write a Viral Post (This is not sarcastic.)


Step One: Choose your title. I have collected all that remains of titles from the internet. Simply choose one and fill in the blanks. It's kind of like Madlibs. Insert a number, insert a noun. Tip - no one likes... Continue Reading →

3 Things You Must Know Before You Are in Kindergarten


1. How to use a toilet. You do NOT want to mess this up, bro. There are no diapers allowed after your super-liberal preschools. You are almost five. Time to potty. You see that cool bathroom pass hanging up on the... Continue Reading →

Wednesday Wind Up


Nice thing - had a long shift at work today…but really cool tables and I worked with some fun peeps. As we shut down the restaurant, I was waiting at the bar to do my checkout, and just talking with... Continue Reading →

Bucket List : Going to a Movie by Myself (Not so bad, turns out)


In my opinion, bucket lists should be composed of equal parts fears you want to overcome, places and things you want to do, and things you have to work hard towards. According to a thirty second google search, people have... Continue Reading →

December First. Stuff and Things.


Does your mouth ever taste like something, and it drives you crazy? Right now mine tastes like popcorn, which I haven't had in forever. Am I supposed to go the movies? Is this a sign? Or do I just need... Continue Reading →

wednesday wined up. on thursday. because things.


you guys - i made friends with a redneck at work today, and at one point we shared a plate of fried chicken and then did the running man in the server station. also the dishwasher, this linebacker of a... Continue Reading →

HowGirlsWork: Hot Fudge and Breakups.


It might only be six pm, but the feelings say it is time for dessert. So I got out the fudge sauce, and noticed there were instructions on it, two sets actually. I found them kind of funny. The first... Continue Reading →

wednesday winEd up.


Its week two of bartednong school< and week five of crossgit class, so i guwss my body is mad> My right arm, which I only use for....everytthing has decided to dislcate itself> luckily, a hunky sports doctor at cross fit... Continue Reading →

Sundayness – Getting Lucky and Gardening.


I like blogging Sundays. I think of it as Jesus' birthday or something heathen-like, despite all my years as a Christian. I'm like, "hey! Jesus! We should have donuts about you today!" Here's what happened this Sunday. My alarm -... Continue Reading →

Today I Got Old.


birthdays held significance when we were young. i wanted nothing more than to be 13 - a teenager. then the next goal was 16 - driving. then 21 - drinking. and then....? as far as i knew, you just slowly... Continue Reading →

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