I'm not sure shower scenes are necessary, but....if we must!
I’m not sure shower scenes are necessary, but….if we must!

By the numbers:

  • Kiss Count – 5
  • Sean Shirtless Count – we don’t have numbers that high.
  • First hot tub party
  • First girl sending herself home (hey yoga girl, we’re all surprised.)
  • First acknowledgement of “The Bachelor’s” history of racial profiling.
  • First aquatic makeout.
  • First “Punk’d” on Bach.
  • First date at Sean’s house.
  • First favorite cheesy quote – “I’m vegan, but I love the beef.”
why do we always think this is so hot?

You know, Sean is cute and all, even though I generally go for the unshaven, wildly intelligent, rotund type (I can’t wait for you to read this!), but I really thought he was a super boring piece of meat. However, this episode won him some puntos with me. I didn’t know that he had Punk’d Emily when she visited him, making her think that he lived with his parents. I thought it was hilarious that he set up a prank on poor Desiree (who I like). It was also adorable to watch him and Chris Harrison crack up in the director’s booth. I loved “Sven” crying, too. And she got to go back to his house, there was dinner, wine, hot tub, making out in the pool, yadda yadda. What is it about a pool that inspires lip lock so much on this show?

Your arm situation is a little different? You had a traumatic experience trying to zipline? Here, let’s throw you off a building.

One arm girl (Sara?) had the first date…she’s super pretty and the producers seemed determined to exploit her differentness as much as they do Sean’s six pack. I would vote for more time for her if I wasn’t so annoyed by her voice and flat personality. But maybe she is being required to monologue ad nauseum as we start the season. Of course, she has to face a moment from her past. ABC loves those cliche first dates! “oh, we’re bungee jumping off a building?! Like when I wasn’t allowed to zipline because I have one arm?! I never saw this coming!”

"Oh no! I'm so scared, please don't make me-oh, alright." :)
“Oh no! I’m so scared, please don’t make me-oh, alright.” :)

The key to this is to tell producers during your casting interview that your greatest fear is puppies or rainbows. Then your date will be a helicopter ride to go rainbow chasing in Ireland with baby golden retrievers.

Regarding the race question – I thought it was super ballsy of the girl to ask. We’ve all noticed that 99% of the people on the show are white. This show had a lot more diversity, and it was cool that Sean said he’d dated black, Persian, white, etc., and it didn’t really matter to him. Kudos for Sean and for ABC for finally addressing it in some small way.

Girl I don’t like – Tierra. New drinking game – every time she raises her “crazy brow,” or says “I’m not here to make friends/I’m here for Sean.” She’s the Michelle Money/Courtney Robertson we love to hate. Can’t wait to see how it goes down!

I started to make a list of celebrity look a likes for this cast, but some googling revealed someone had already done it for me! Check it out here. Pretty funny.

Alright. Here be your Bingo Terms, mateys!

  • Free Space in the middle = “LOVE”
  • Tierra Crazy Eyebrow Slide2
  • SIX PACK SEAN – any time Sean has his shirt off
  • A date that faces a fear
  • “I have a surprise for you”
  • “amazing”
  • “I missed you
  • Hot tub!
  • “not okay”
  • Sean references his faith in some way (God, Jesus, faith, etc.)
  • “falling for Sean/you”
  • “intense”
  • girls get in a cat fight
  • “I’m not here to make friends”
  • mentioning parents
  • crying
  • limo
  • helicopter
  • sunset with a Sean monologue
  • “steal you for a second”
  • “connection”
  • any kind of secret is revealed
  • “Pre-cerem-rose” – Sean hands out a rose before the ceremony
  • references to “normal stuff” type dating after the show, ie grocery shopping, sweatpants, staying in and watching movies, etc.