Sunglasses Always Fit

I am moving to North Carolina in TWO DAYS. As my lease ended in June, I’ve had to haul my life to my gracious mother and step-father’s house, and pretend to not feel awkward about it for the last two months. I’ve had friends go through nasty break-ups, job loss, or health problems and need to move back in, too. And I think in today’s economy, it’s something a lot more of us are having to do or choosing to do for financial reasons for a while.

After being on your own since 18, there are some things that ROCK and some things, not so much, about having to kick it with the parentals again.

Here are some highlights:

• These people have all kinds of food! No matter how old we are, I think the first place most of us go to when we come home is the fridge. It’s like a Pavlovian response to being in mom’s kitchen. And they buy things I never would because I’m usually broke or in some vain effort to lose weight. They’ve got ice cream! Blue cheese! Quiche! I’ve gained five pounds.
• We try to sit down and eat dinner together. At a real table. With like, well-balanced meals of more than one food type. On real plates with silverware. We hold hands, say a blessing, and talk about our days. It’s adorables.

• 

  Cable. Have guys heard of HBO? I’m finally understanding what everyone’s freaked out facebook and twitter updates re: Game of Thrones were all about. Consequently I am only sleeping three hours a night in a frantic effort to catch up on pop culture for the last two years.

• No loud roomies at three am stumbling into the house!
• Newspapers!!! I get to wake up every morning, drink some “fancy people” coffee (that someone else made!) and read everything about the world. Then I annoy everyone in my family with “did you know that….” and competitively filling in the crosswords and jumble before they get a chance.
• They live in a nice neighborhood. I feel safer here. Also, there’s a man in the house to kill spiders.

But it’s also kind of weird to be back “home,” but it’s in a place I’ve never lived before. It’s only because my family lives here that I call it “home.” And they have a whole life, a system and a routine and I have very little idea about how it works or what my role is to play. Here are some weird bits:

• Back to checking in with mom. I may be 29, but I think I’m forever a child, especially when living with mom. It’s kinda cute. She wants to know where I’m going, with who, what do their parents do? Will you be home for dinner? Text me when you get there! It’s all very eye-roll/chuckle inducing, but kind of nice to know someone is keeping tabs on me, unlike roommates who might not notice your absence for three or four days.

  

• Where do the things go?! This isn’t the house I grew up in, and there are all these cabinets with their special purposes, but I don’t know them yet. I’m always asking things like “where are spatulas? where are ziploc bags? where is toilet paper?!?”
• Messing with their garage feng shui. When I unloaded truckloads of haphazardly packed boxes into my stepdad’s garage, little did I know I was destroying the delicate balance of his meticulous organization. It doesn’t matter how much your parents love you, they don’t want to store your stuff. You may think that seven boxes of high school yearbooks and momentos would have a happy home next to Dad’s tools and all of his momentos. And you would be wrong.

  

• I can’t find anything. This has more to do with the fact I’m moving than living with parents again, but it has led to many a meltdown when I can’t find something like my pajamas, or I’m only able to wear four outfits in rotation for three weeks because everything else is packed. My makeup and toiletries has been limited to this little travel pack thing since June 16th, consequently there has been a lot less makeup application. And a lot less hygiene.
• They live in a nice neighborhood. Yes, I feel safer, but it’s also like the land of the rich and beautiful people. I go walking on the trail, and there are dogs being “walked” in strollers that are dressed better than I am. It makes me a wee self-conscious.

All in all, it’s been so nice and I know I’m lucky to have family that will allow me to crash here for a bit. And now I just have two days left to figure out how to fit 29 years into a Corolla, and mom and I will hit the road for North Carolina! Is this a good idea? Is this a bad idea? I have no idea. But I’m ready to find a new place to call “home.”

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• How to use Feng Shui to make an overstayed welcome parent move out of your house? (feng-shui-at-home.knowledge-pool.com)
• 50 Unintentional Quotes From Children That Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine (thoughtcatalog.com)