1. Be too embarrassed to come home and see family. Well, embarrassed is part of it - I've gained weight, couldn't get a real job, have no friends, and broke up with the man I thought I was going to... Continue Reading →
iTunes search: "alone." Twenty-one songs. My favorites - "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany, "You are not Alone" by Michael Jackson, and the anthem "Alone" by Heart. Also "Jingle Bell Rock," because it's from the Home Alone soundtrack. If... Continue Reading →
Step One: Choose your title. I have collected all that remains of titles from the internet. Simply choose one and fill in the blanks. It's kind of like Madlibs. Insert a number, insert a noun. Tip - no one likes... Continue Reading →
1. How to use a toilet. You do NOT want to mess this up, bro. There are no diapers allowed after your super-liberal preschools. You are almost five. Time to potty. You see that cool bathroom pass hanging up on the... Continue Reading →
In my opinion, bucket lists should be composed of equal parts fears you want to overcome, places and things you want to do, and things you have to work hard towards. According to a thirty second google search, people have... Continue Reading →
Does your mouth ever taste like something, and it drives you crazy? Right now mine tastes like popcorn, which I haven't had in forever. Am I supposed to go the movies? Is this a sign? Or do I just need... Continue Reading →
you guys - i made friends with a redneck at work today, and at one point we shared a plate of fried chicken and then did the running man in the server station. also the dishwasher, this linebacker of a... Continue Reading →
Its week two of bartednong school< and week five of crossgit class, so i guwss my body is mad> My right arm, which I only use for....everytthing has decided to dislcate itself> luckily, a hunky sports doctor at cross fit... Continue Reading →
You guys. I had a really good day today. And tomorrow is gonna be good, too. And then the next day as well. I have some news. We'll start with today. I woke up super refreshed, even before my alarm... Continue Reading →
Full disclosure - I had to look at my phone to know if today was Wednesday or not. Despite recent happenings in the world of possible employment, I'm still living in that world where I didn't put on a bra... Continue Reading →
Sunglasses Always Fit 