1. I can’t stop saying the word “sucks.” And I’m pretty sure I said “hella” one time without realizing it.
2. Someone farted in the sixth grade class and I demanded to know who it was. (no one owned up)
3. I often start talking about something important, and end up singing lyrics to a Disney movie. Or rap song. Or teaching pager code.
4. In Study Hall on Fridays, when I can no longer stand it, sometimes we look up Youtube videos of puppies.
5. I totally want to know the answer to “Miss Weight! Guess who likes so-and-so?!” and squeal “really?!” and then make sure to sit them far apart in the next seating chart.
6. I have favorites. We all do. Some kids are just cuter/smarter/sweeter/bring me presents/have nicer moms/do their homework more than others.
7. I’ve told a lot of stories that start “this one time when I was traveling somewhere, I had to use this one toilet, and….”
8. I’ve seen a loooot of dress code violations, but cannot bring myself to call someone into the office for having painted their nails…
9. I miss weekday happy hours and fabulously extravagant social gatherings and fundraisers of the SB life a LOT
10. I also miss my cleavage. Its somewhere hidden underneath months of turtlenecks and sensible shoes.
11. I chew gum in class sometimes when I’ve had a smelly lunch, even though kids aren’t allowed to on campus. I tell them I can because “I went to college.” Which is pretty much my answer to everything I don’t have an answer for.
But I know that I can be a teacher because
1. Deep down, even when they are AWFUL and smelly, i lovelovelove my students. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me smell like Axe and BO and Capri Sun, they write me funny notes and leave them in my projector organizer or on my whiteboard. They drive me insane, but then they hug me so tight and ask me to come to their soccer games on Saturdays.
2. Even when they are all telling me how much they hate Latin, I still love it and love that I get to learn things while I’m teaching it. My brain is growing!
3. Even if I did make more as a waitress or nanny, I get summers off. HEYOOO! (39 days til spring break, 107 days til the last day of school…..heck to the yes.)