The Flukeman Episode. Classic.

Yeah, its off the air, but it is wicked good. Because the Xfiles is all about…

10. Seriously Creepy TV – I like to be scared by television in the same way that I like to be scared by roller coasters. I know it will be over soon, I can see where it ends, my tummy gets all weird inside. TV scare is also better than movie-scare (which I am not into) because there is the option for commercial breaks and I can keep the lights on. Flukeman, alien abduction, that one episode with the incestuous family that kept the mom on a skateboard under the bed? EPIC nightmare tele.

9. Awesome guest stars – Owning seven seasons and both movies of the Xfiles and watching them over and over made me realize how many people have had a cameo on this show. Jack Black, Giovanni Ribisi, Ryan Reynolds, Seth Green, Felicity Huffman, Luke Wilson, Kathy Griffin, a couple of SNL alum.

monster of the week!

8. Far-out fiction – Possessed dolls, lake monsters, tree people, shape-shifters… I’ve always been a fan of the “out there.” Ever since reading The Chronicles of Narnia as a child, I’ve been convinced that animals can speak. And Harry Potter made me believe in magic. Xfiles has taught me that adults can live in a fantasy, realm, too. It just makes life more interesting if I can look at a goat and imagine the words it is thinking. And how it wants to suck my blood.

7. Sweet theme song. Whenever you’re having a weird moment or something spooky is happening, this is a great song to hum. (you’re all humming it now, aren’t you? YES!)

6. Government conspiracy. If my political science major affirmed anything in college, it was that the government people are not to be trusted and I should blame them for everything that happens to me. Thanks for the heads up on that, Mulder.

“you kept me honest!” (insert bee)

5. Xcellent one-liners and inside jokes. Everything from “I want to believe” to “nice piece of ash,” to Lone Gunmen, Cigarette Smoking Men, and “you kept me honest,” The Xfiles is full of innuendos, puns, and characters that only true fans can recognize and appreciate.

4. Unresolved Sexual Tension. Speaking of insects with terrible timing…Mulder and Scully have incredible UST. While we always suspected that there was more happening between our two beloved agents, it was never truly confirmed until like season 8, when most of us had fallen away due to David Duchovny Deprivation Syndrome. It was almost Austenian in nature…the building of mutual attraction, the jealousy of each agent whenever another person entered the room, the stolen glances, the tiniest of hand-holds after a particularly rough case…it left us pining for more. I would live for that fraction of a second when their faces were too close together, and thinking “IS THIS IT?! ARE WE DOING THIS?!” but then, no. Ahhh but it was great!

scenes from the brilliant “Arcadia”

3. The Funny Episodes. – The Xfiles has themes that it works with continuously…Mulder’s sister’s abduction, Scully’s cancer and “babies,” that weird black oil ish that is threatening to take over our eyes and our world…but they often take a break to do a somewhat ridiculous. IE anything David Duchovny writes, like the Aliens-love-baseball ep, or the one when Mulder and Scully go undercover as husband and wife. “Woman, get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich!”

2. Scully – The first few years with the potato-sack-pant-suits and shoulder pads, questionable hair dos, and lots of eye-rolling didn’t win you any points with me….but eventually the work your new stylist did, dry sense of humor, and the way you grounded Mulder won me over. I can’t tell if I want to be your friend or just be you and make out with Mulder off-camera…either way I really appreciate that you are a strong woman of faith on TV, kicking ass and taking names of all the bad guys. And you’re a ginger! Way to go! Also you get to make out with Mulder.

i heart you.

1. Fox Mulder – I have blogged many a time for many a moon about how much I love this man. He is handsome and broody as all get up, so twisted, ballsy, intelligent and mysterious. He has that hard-to-identify quality of character about him that draws women in, trying to save his sorry self from himself. He probably smells like cookies in real life. And he’s got a theme song? Winning. If you are a DD fan and haven’t memorized Bree Sharp‘s ode to David…then I just don’t know. but indulge yourself here: