Its trendy to make resolutions for the new year. Its so trendy to not make resolutions. I want to start a new trend. Ridiculous resolutions. Join me.
My first is to tweet from every public restroom I visit for the entire year of 2012. Why? Because I can. Also because genetics has given me a bladder the size of a soda can, and I visits a lots of zee potties. Sometimes I want to thank the restaurant that is letting me in with no intention of eating. Sometimes I want to report a clean up. Sometimes I want to feature some really cool graffiti or numbers to call for a good time. I often go on twitter when I have to wait in any kind of line, so I thought this one would work for me. follow me at #restrooms2012. I’m pretty sure it’s the next Justin Bieber.
My second resolution is to do more awesome stuff. #awesome.
My third resolution is to keep my fish alive.
That about wraps it up.
All anyone is talking about is New Years Eve and making resolutions. We’ve already forgotten about how much fun Christmas was! I’m still reeling from Thanksgiving and Walmart already has Valentine’s decorations up. Conversation hearts are my most favorite candy, but c’mon. Let me enjoy thisday. But we march onward towards the next holiday. Americans love to celebrate.
For some reason, this magical changing of the year-date makes us all want to be better people. But I’m here to tell you that I think you’re pretty great already. You don’t need to change anything about yourself! Just keep on being you. Unless you have a weird habit that should really be broken…like public nose-picking or bed-wetting. Those are some good things to resolve to work on.
But I challenge you to not waste energy on the “typical” resolutions. IE lose weight, eat carrots, learn Portuguese, get rid of credit card debt. Scientific google searches show that most people don’t keep their NYE resolutions for more than 8 days or so. Also, did you know that the original Roman calendar year, where we adopted ours from, had the new year starting in March? January 1st is made up! I don’t even think its a real day. No one does anything but watch tv, wear sweatpants, eat pizza and recover from the night before. What a waste! We’ve got to do something about this nonsense.
I hereby absolve you of having to change. I hope that takes some pressure off. Also, I just ate some delicious Fritos.
You know what’s pressure? New Year’s Eve night. Especially for single people. Yikes. It’s always “where are we going, what are we doing, what are you wearing, who will I kiss? Will you be my back-up kiss? how are we getting there, how are we getting home?” And it always ends up being somewhat of a let down. Ry and I have decided to really avoid the nonsense this year by going to the exotic locale of Portland, Oregon! We shall visit our friend Garrett and we are going to a log cabin bar, where I’m pretty sure I can get away with wearing sweatpants for NYE if I want to. Perfect.
I’m hoping to find a lumberjack to kiss. I just want the picture to post on Facebook of a genuine lumberjack giving me a peck on the cheek as I hold a glass of champagne and give the “angry but flirty” or “duck face” pose we girls are so fond of.
I don’t even know if there are real lumberjacks anymore, or if they live in Portland. Come to think of it, all I know of Portland is that it is rainy there and my friend lives there and we are driving there tomorrow. Guess I have a lot to learn. Exciting!
Anyway this is going to be a great road trip. I’ll keep you posted. Here’s to 2012!