I have lots of memories of asking my dad what I’m sure were all kinds of annoying questions about the rules of football. He always answered very patiently. I’m guessing maybe not every girl had a dad or older brother in her life who could help her understand why Americans are so passionate about this skull-cracking sport, because my friends and I were able to compile a list of some of the ridiculous things that the less-informed and less athletic members of the female kind are known to interrupt a good game-watching with.

We apologize. They don’t mean to sound so silly. And remember, they’re asking questions because they love you and they’re interested and care about what you’re doing. If you’d like a website to send to her to answer her questions, here is a good one: click

And now, the list….”St*ff Girls Say During Football”

‎1. Who do we want to win again?

not bad!

2. Ohhhhh I LOVE football butts!!!

3. I’m wearing pink and it’s a shade of red so I’ll go for the 49ers and you’re wearing baby blue so you vote for the other guys.

4. Oh, that’s cute!

5. I like when they dance! So cute.

6. I wish I could see their faces.

7. Oh my gosh! He’s gonna get hurt!

8. Wait, now they’re gonna kick it?

9. Doesn’t that hurt?! I feel pain just watching.

10. Their pants are so tight. And shiny.

11. Pass me the chips. I love the food during these games. But it’s so fattening.

12. These games are soooo long.

13. Ohhhhhhhh, I get what the lines mean now.

14. WAIT! Is that arrow not actually on the field?!

15. Boys are so cute when they watch football and they’re cheering for their team. I love hanging with the boys!

that can’t feel good.

16. Wait – what color are we?

17. Oh my GOSH be CAREFUL!

18. ouch ouch ouch that looks so painful.

19. I like their outfits the best.

20. Why are they playing in the rain? Don’t they have retractable roofs for this?

21. Another commercial? Aren’t time outs supposed to be quick? This is taking forEVER.

22. Oh woooow look at those cheerleaders. Ugh I really need to work out. 

23. They get four tries, right?

24. What do you think these guys eat everyday? I bet like, 5,000 calories. I wish I could do that.

25. So when is the Superbowl? Tom Brady is so hot. He’s playing, right? Omg I love Giselle.